1. The value of space
Office life can be quite a pain if you have a boss who sits next to you and keeps looking into your screen. In other words breathing down your neck. The same goes for relationships. Being stuck to each other because you ‘love each other’ is unhealthy. When proximity increases vision gets blurred. Be with each other but give each other enough space to pursue individual hobbies, careers, interests and to exercise choice.
2. Blame those assumptions
Quite a large portion of misunderstandings occur due to assumptions. Be they regarding an event, a behavior, a tone, a word, anything. Much as we’d like to think, no one can ever step into the other’s shoes and feel/know ‘exactly’ what the other is going through. So don’t blame each other. Blame the fact that you assume.
3. Communicate with words
If you are happy, sad, upset, aggrieved, elated, disturbed, etc. communicate the same to your partner. And the more you communicate with an even tone, the more receptive your partner will be. Tonal alterations are so important that they supersede our words to a large degree. And that can be a problem. So watch out for the same.
4. Do different things
Keeping your relationship alive and fun-filled is essential. Especially as you cross the 3 year mark. If you continue doing the same activities i.e. dinners, movies, coffees, lovey-dovey talk, etc. sooner or later both will get bored. Like we get bored of our routinised lives. Try and do different activities like trekking, playing Scrabble, cocktail sessions, cooking together, discussing a variety of topics, etc. And if planned well, they can turn into wonderful bonding activities.
5. Don’t use unfair means
When you have an argument or disagreement, first realize that it is impossible to agree upon every topic. Every relationship has its area of compromise. Then try and analyse the situation and the factors involved. Absolutely avoid using P.M.S. (for women) and dominance (for men) as a weapon to steer the argument in your favour. It results in no solution and the problem gets worsened. Remember, emotions are crucial for expressing but not for problem solving.
6. Expect really less
This is a really hard one to follow. But nothing is impossible. As humans, we inherently always expect from our partner. And it is not possible for your partner to fulfill all your expectations. The lesser you expect, the lesser you get hurt. And if you want to be happy, then expect less out of choice; not out of compulsion or frustration.